sweet olivia's hands- these days she is into drawing and painting grey kitties. :)


“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach

There is so much to be grateful for.
May you be blessed with the happiest of Thanksgivings.

freewriting this morning:
Do you ever think about people from your past? Maybe a friend who let you down or maybe you let her down though you never ever meant to? Maybe it hurts your heart to this day to think about it and you cry just typing her name into Google as you search with no luck once again? Maybe you have unspoken words still tucked inside, an apology, hoping for a chance to make amends. I know I certainly do. I woke up this morning thinking about an old college roommate. She's been on my mind for a few weeks now, thanks mostly to Facebook and finding mutual friends of ours.

It was 1994 when we parted on less than perfect terms. I was leaving Atlanta where we lived in a cute two bedroom apartment and headed north, destination undetermined, to start a new life with a boyfriend. I was young and headstrong. I believed in fairy tales and ever afters. Her words of caution only annoyed me and made me angry. I saw her as a big sister I didn't want. What I did want was for her to pretend to be happy for me just as I was pretending that I wasn't making a mistake. I turned away from the disappointment I saw in her eyes every time she looked at me and I left with barely a goodbye. We never wrote. I thought we would eventually. One of us. But we didn't. The relationship with the boyfriend ended a year and a half later though we are still friends.

Years later I can see my roommate for who she really was. A wise woman who I was blessed to know, who cared about me the way best friends do and who knew heartbreak in a way that I eventually came to know. She had only been trying to protect me, to show me how to be more loving of my soul, to learn to take care of myself and not be the princess that always needed saving. Why had I been so blind to that? I suppose I wasn't ready for the lessons she was trying to teach me. When I think about that time in my life I hang my head and make a wish that I will get a chance to tell her how to this day I draw upon her strength as I teach my daughter to be a strong independant woman. I didn't learn the lessons then when it mattered to our friendship but I did learn them. I think of her each time I make pasta with onions, olives and tomotoes or have cream in my tea or see a movie with Billy Zane. Maybe there will be a day I can tell her these things face to face. After all I do still believe in fairy tales.

this resonated with me today:

Usually I pop straight out of bed and into the action of the day. This is much to my husband's annoyance as he is the slow-to-rise-must-have-coffee sort of man. I read somewhere once, and i agree whole-heartedly, that the best way to start the day is to, before anything else, any other thought, before your feet even touch the floor, say a prayer of gratitude for the blessing of the new day. Just a simple "thank you for the gift of this day." And say this over and over until you really feel it running true and deep in the core of your being.
Usually this works and is all I need to get a smile and a bounce to my step but I started this day feeling a bit "off." What I needed was some encouragement, a little uplifting, so I turned to one my journals, kept especially for jotting down quotes. Turned out, it was just the thing I needed.(That and a cup of Earl Grey.)

Here are a few words that resonated with my heart's center and got me on the right track.

"Where there is great love there are always miracles."---Willa Cather

"I believe in the energy of art, and through the use of that energy, the artist's ability to transform his or her life, and by example, the lives of others." ---Audrey Flack

"Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a headache when we read the lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as our own, as the tender shoots we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty. Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desparately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths."---Henry Miller

even more inspiration was found when i popped over to visit relyn's blog this morning. she has a way of finding the best links and well, i think she has a way of bringing out the very best in people.

and lastly, this great article on great novel writing from the WSJ.

this weekend was all about:

*sketchfest---sketching alone and then sketching with my mom, my niece, and olivia. we had an "art class" in the dining room inspired by frida kahlo and her self-portraits. what fun to share something you love with those you love. we had a blast!
*watching walk the line. and then listening to a LOT of johnny cash. "jackson" is playing on my pandora right now. and let me tell you a wee secret---see, i've always had a moviestar crush on joaquin phoenix who played johnny in the movie...and there just happens to be a character of mine in this WIP, Dr. Elisha Betts, that I have written description-wise with him in mind. sometimes the story plays out behind my eyelids like a movie and there is joaquin as dr. betts, as plain as day. but, i googled joaquin just before this post and read he's giving up acting in favor of rapping. is that really true? i didn't continue searching for info because in doing that i risk the time drain that happens when i start following the shiny trail of the internet. *sigh* i'm just going to pretend i didn't read that whole thing about rapping. (not that i have anything against someone changing career paths and following their dream. just saying.)
*raking leaves. well, i mostly leaned on the rake and daydreamed. and listened to the crows calling from the walnut tree. it actually sounded like they were fussing on me, maybe saying, "get to work."
*writing. i recently started using the pagefour program and have been pleased with the ease it is bringing to this project.
*rolling out yummy biscuits and cooking with olivia
*going for walks. never ceasing to be amazed at how lovely yellow leaves are against a blue sky. *contented sigh*

{Echo} Week 2 "Decorate"

i read that in ancient times housewives decorated their windowsills with acorns in the hope of protecting their home against lightning strikes by appeasing the red-headed thunder god thor.

(to learn more about {echo} click here.)


what i have been doing instead of blogging: (though so many days i think about blogging)
*nursing a cold
*dressing up as a vampire for halloween
*babying a crazy painful neck crick
*but also celebrating my second low tumor marker number. whoo--hoo!
*going to see bright star with a dear friend
*hiking on the chesnut ridge trail
*hanging out with tiffany at the art museum
*but mostly i have been writing on the WIP (a work-in-progress novel). is it crazy/silly/unrealistic of me to think i might actually be able to complete this or better yet, have it to the point i can actually share it? for so long it seemed too big a project for me to even comprehend. i felt as if i were in over my head...but now....just maybe. i am seeing pages of scenes coming together to form chapters and loose ends are weaving their way together in ways i didn't predict before. after mexico i had to completely start over. i trashed 50,000 words but the characters would not leave my head so i began again. now, thoughts of the story and the characters have me skipping through leaves and dancing. how can this be? i feel so joyous i would turn catwheels across the yard if i could. it is making me that happy. truly. today i have four whole hours to devote to it. four glorious hours. mainly, i am putting all other artsy endeavors below this one, just for now, because this is where a big part of my heart is- though painting will happen this weekend. i have promised myself, because a piece of my heart is there also.


"The very least you can do with your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance, but live right in it, under its roof."
- Barbara Kingsolver

wherever you are i hope that you are living in your hope.
peace and love,

p.s. and a special thank you to N. for acorn hunting with me.

emerging

I'm really excited about this---Chrysti and Susan have started a photography collaboration with bi-weekly prompts and have invited us to play along with them. The first prompt is "Emerge."

I used images from yesterday, taken with the small Sony I carry almost always in my pocket or purse.
It was a gloriously beautiful day in the Blue Ridge area- sunshine and breezes, everywhere surrounded by the warm colors of fall, every breath a gift. I hope yours was just like it wherever you are.
Olivia participated in a free workshop at Hollins, a sculpture workshop taught by the amazing and so so kind, Betty Branch. Betty didn't mind if I tagged along and I was like a kid myself with my jaw gaping in awe at her creations. Betty is versatile and blessed with such talent! Favorites were the works with the crows that resonated strongly, causing me at one time to let out a big {ahhhh!}, perhaps due to the fact that in my WIP there's a crow named Grimm, and there he was captured for me to gaze upon to my heart's content. Olivia's favorite was the giant burlap figure and the video of a group of those same figures in an installation pieces, burning in a raft on the water. (You must click on the link to see her work. The video is there too. ) Here is Betty talking about one of her pieces with the group.

***
Now, with the "emerge" prompt I imagined walking through the woods, finding seeds emerging from pods-that sort of thing. But I decided to work with what I have on my camera as I may not get a chance to post again before a new prompt is given. I think knowing I had to make something work made me look my images differently and with greater appreciation.
Suddenly this morning, things were emerging everywhere.

The shot of Olivia's hands full of clay. Such possibility. What will emerge? It was soothing to sit beside her, clay in my own hands, watching her form the sleeping kitty. I would have guessed it would be kitty-related. In her art-making, Olivia has developed heavy leanings toward kitties and ballerinas.



And at the top of the post is a glimpse of what's happening on the right side of my art table, the small tarnished bowl of clipped words and part of a poem that emerged from them last night.
Below-the left side of the art table, where my hand is learning again what was forgotten for a while. It is always a surprise to me who decides to emerge onto the surface.


***
Remember the project I mentioned in the last post? Well, it's taking SO much longer than I could have ever imagined so I've decided not to wait until it's all done to post again. It seemed like a good thing to at the time, a way of goal-setting for myself, but with this time of year comes so many fun activities like ghost hunts in floyd and rocky mount, hikes in the woods, making yummy soups, campfires and reading on the porch or beneath the sugar maple. The project involves sitting in front of the computer and I just can't do that right now! ;) So, the secret-ey project can keep another week.
See you soon.